If cocktails played in a World Cup, the group stages would be delicious and the final would be carnage. Here is our tongue-in-cheek tournament of the football nations and the iconic drinks they have given the world. Lace up - and pour up.
The favourites
Brazil arrive as five-time champions on the pitch and undisputed champions in the glass. Their national cocktail, the Caipirinha - cachaca, lime and sugar - is pure samba: simple, fresh and impossible not to enjoy. A genuine title contender.
Mexico bring firepower with the Margarita and the Paloma, both built on tequila. Bold, zesty and dangerous in numbers - a side nobody wants to draw.
Cuba are the technicians. The Mojito, the Daiquiri and the Cuba Libre are a masterclass in rum. (Footballing trivia: Cuba's one and only World Cup, back in 1938, saw them reach the quarter-finals - a giant-killing run worthy of a celebratory daiquiri.)
The dark horses
Peru swing the Pisco Sour - silky, frothy and quietly lethal. Argentina press high with Fernet con Coca, a national obsession that is very much an acquired taste. And Japan play with precision: the perfectly built Highball (whisky and soda) is a study in discipline.
The old guard of Europe
England field the dependable Gin & Tonic and the summery Pimm's Cup. Italy are all style with the Negroni and the Aperol Spritz. France bring champagne flair via the French 75, and Spain keep it social with Sangria. Tournament regulars, every one.
The smallest nation with the biggest legacy
And then there is Curacao. The footballers from this tiny Caribbean island have been one of the great underdog stories of their region, punching far above their size. But in the Cocktail World Cup, Curacao is a heavyweight: the island gave the world blue curacao, the orange liqueur (made from the dried peel of the laraha citrus) that colours everything from the Blue Lagoon to the Blue Hawaiian. Every electric-blue cocktail you have ever seen owes a debt to this little island.
Host your own Cocktail World Cup
This is exactly the kind of theme our events were made for. Imagine your team split into "nations," each creating and presenting a cocktail to win the trophy - the spirit of our Mystery Bag Showdown with a World Cup twist. We bring the whole tournament to your office, fully mobile, everything included.